Thursday, 20 December 2012

STOP! Stop the car!

I went on a shopping trip with an uncle and family - so my aunt was driving along happily, telling us about their recent holiday to Florida. She loved it as much as her children did, you could tell by the way she talked about it, the emotion that went into telling her stories, followed by laughter as she reminisced.

There were three of us at the back, sitting and listening, having stuffed travel sweets into our mouths, happily sucking away at the orange and carrot flavoured candy. "We rented a car," my aunt tells me, "and drove to most of the places, it was beautiful. The people were friendly, and the swimming poo...."

"STOP!!" My cousin next to me suddenly shouted.

Woah, now that was unexpected! It made us all jump, and for an 8 year old that rarely spoke, he was loud!

"What's up?" I asked him, but he is too busy shouting.

"Stop! Stop the car! Mum, pull over!"

I could see my aunt clutching the steering wheel with both hands, breathing in and out, and my uncle had just turned around to look at us all.

"What's wrong?" we all asked at the same time as my aunt pulled over to the side of the road.

He started to sniffle, "my tooth has come out," he told us, holding it up for everyone to see.

"Again?!" His brother sitting next to him asked, "that's the third one in two months. Man, it's all them sweets, you ain't gonna have any teeth left over at this rate."

"Ummm," he started to whimper, "It's come out, mum!"

My aunt had stopped the car, and she and my uncle were both looking at us, there we were, their two sons and me, sitting in the back of the car and we had just pulled over because of a tooth.

My aunt looked at me and said, "the first came out in the airport, the second is buried in the middle of Florida somewhere and now, the third," she shook her head and sighed, turning to her youngest, "shall we just throw it out of the window?"

"Ok" he said, looking at the tooth in his hand.

"Right my love," she said as she pulled out into the main road, "open your window and drop it quickly when you think it's time."

About a minute later, we passed a park, and then we heard his little voice whisper "rest in peace, tooth."
And we all burst out laughing, it was sad, but we couldn't help it!

Sunday, 16 December 2012


Don't you just wish there was a delete button in life, like the one on Facebook? It would be amazing, you could delete those moments which you wish never happened, like the awkward moment when you say what you're thinking out loud.....whoops....

So here we are, in a room with the parents, cousins (haven't figured out how or why we are related) and family friends - women and thier husbands who have been forcefully dragged along to this pointless social occasion, just like me. 

"Oh, she looks beautiful!" - it's about the fifth time I've heard that line along with "What a lovely couple!"  They are all admiring a picture of a couple on their wedding day, it's being passed around on someones mobile phone. 

"Aren't mobiles just fantastic!" shouts my aunt - this coming from the aunt that earlier on TODAY, declared them to be evil, you should have heard her, she just kept going on and on and on about how they are ruining her children, "my children don't even talk to each other, they text instead....they spend so much time on those things....tapping social I've banned them". What a load of rubbish! 

It's funny how people say one thing one minute and another two minutes later huh. The irony of it all. 

So the mobile has been passed to me, and it's my turn to admire the lovely couple, but I can't help but notice the clothes. Now, don't get me wrong, everyone is allowed to like different things, but seriously, this couple have lost the plot! Her dress is amazing, you know, typical white, beads, delicate and all that, but the groom! It looks like he is wearing her dress. His shirt is made out of, what looks like to me, the same material as the wedding dress. He looks like he is wearing a suit made out of her wedding dress. That is just FREAKY. He is sparkling!!! And so I open my big gob "what is he wearing?!" 

....and that's the part where everyone, EVERYONE, stops their yapping and stare at me. I can feel their gazes sinking into me, burning through my brain, their sharp intake of breath as they hear what I just said. My eyes go wide as I try to think what I should do, it seems like forever, but they just keep looking at me! So I laugh, say "Oh, it's lovely!" in a really happy, jolly way, like absolutely nothing has happened, and I quickly pass  the phone on to the next person. 

Whoops indeed! Could seriously have done with a delet button there! 
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