Confessions of a Front-Stabbing Friend #4

By Fatima K - April 05, 2016

I hate shopping...well, actually that is a lie. I don't mind shopping but shopping with my mother is one of the weirdest experiences on the planet. It's not as bad as I've experienced in the past because I've come shopping with people who are all over the supermarket - literally. They buy things as they remember and so you end up going from the eggs to the milk to the carrots and then back to get cream and then bread. I mean why don't you just go round the place in order?!

Mum just takes ages. She stops to think and sometimes she stares at the labels for what seems like eternity - then I'll lose my patience and have to remind her that the price of fishcakes will not change no matter how much she wills it to with her mind. But then what should I know, I don't really have to budget or manage my money in the way my parents and even some of my friends do. The only bills I worry about are my phone bill and gym bill. Not really gas, electric, council tax, blah, blah blah...

Anyway, enough about budgeting because it makes my brain feel sad. I'd rather think about grocery shopping...yuck! We go through every isle and she picks up a few things but I can't help but notice this man skulking around the store. I've seen him before and he's tried to be nice to us - don't get me wrong, I'm sure he is nice but I don't really want to know to be honest. I just want my mother to hurry up with her shopping so I can go home and binge watch Netflix.

From what I understand he's security.  He - maybe to make himself look more intimidating - walks in a way I find slightly amusing. His hips are thrust forward more so than his shoulders, his arms swing from side to side and his head bobs up and down as he paroles the milk isle. If I were him I'd walk through the bakery...often. The thing is, I'm not being mean in my description of his walk because I've seen this man outside the supermarket and he's a different person. None of this hip thrusting, arm swinging, head bobbing business then. So why now? Maybe he wants to look like a back slash as he walks.

Who knows. I wonder if he'd straighten up if someone ran off with milk without paying for it...

Finally we've finished. I've walked round the whole supermarket and haven't bought a thing! That's right, I have not picked up one thing and that's actually really good. Lucky for mum, I don't actually want anything so when we get to the tills, she won't say how much I cost her. Bring on Netflix!!

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Keep reading, F x
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