On Second Thought....

By Fatima K - January 12, 2016

'it smells in here'
Often, one of the first things I'll notice about a person is their smell. I know, it's really odd but I don't go round sniffing people, honest I don't. I think the reason this is one of the first things I notice is because I myself am really conscious of the way I smell. It's one of my biggest concerns - I work in places that all have different smells. I'm faced with people in the office, people who've just come back from doing intensive exercise, people around food all day and even people who don't care at all about their smell. Fair enough, we are all different. 

Anyway, my actual reason for bringing this up isn't really related to smell at all. It was just, lets say - stimulated by smell. 

Let's continue. 

The other day I was minding my own business, doing my work when a man I know walked past me. As he did, there was this waft of smell that followed him, not entirely unpleasant because I know and recognise that smell. It's that smell of sweat, stale sweat, you know like when your jacket needs to be put in the wash but you sometimes just put spray over it, hoping it hides the smell? Only it only hides it for a while and after the smell of sweat is still there. I say here that it's not unpleasant because I have had to put up with way way way worse smells than this. Plus the smell passes, it doesn't linger for long and therefore it doesn't bother me much. 

However, what does bother me is my thought process on this occasion. Thoughts that ran through my head -

Thought one: 'it's because he has no female to look after him'

Thought two: 'he should be able to look after himself, that's no excuse'. 

I'm ashamed of my first thought. There, I said it. After I spent ages thinking and wondering why I would ever think this, I mean come on, I'm a feminist who has issues with things like this, so then why was this the first thought that came to my head? Like why?! It does help that it was followed straight after by thought number two. I feel at ease a little now!

After a lot of thinking, I realised something. That first thought is one I'v heard before many times and each time I've heard it, I have, out loud, protested and expressed my opinion on this. My opinion being we should all be try to look after ourselves and not be reliant on others - we should try this! 

I found out where I heard it - that thought is something my grandmother has said to me many times. Admittedly I've heard it from many others too but now I know where it's from. That thought isn't me talking, it's what I've heard from others, what I've picked up from society. And this is something a very good friend explained to me the other day.

Here it is being explained by other people: 

"We are not responsible for our first thought, but we are responsible for our second thought and our first action. A lot of our personal power can be found in that space between our first and second thought". 

“First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft.”

Have you ever examined your second thoughts? 

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Keep reading, F x
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