I made tea without a tea bag... it's not the first time I've done this. I normally put the kettle on, get my mug out and a spoon out, open the cupboard to get a tea bag and by this time, the kettle has finished boiling. It pings to let me know and that's it, I forget about the tea bag! So there I am having poured hot water into my mug, mixing it wondering why it's not changing colour. Luckily it's not too late as I see the water and just drop a tea bag into it and tada! Problem solved!

You'd think that having done this once, I wouldn't do it again but it actually happens quite often - observations from this:
- I am tired,
- I find the kettle rather distracting,
- I could possibly be going crazy,
- Maybe I'm defiantly losing my mind?!
- I really do know how to make a decent cuppa, fear not!

Ok, so don't panic just yet. I haven't totally lost my mind because I don't do this everyday. It happens every now and then - but enough for me to have noticed it. And since I began this post, it hasn't happened once! I think writing about it helps!

The thing is, we all do weird and wonderful things. I, myself, have accidentally put biscuits in the fridge and I've watched people do odd things too - here's why: distractions. I noticed that every time I, or a friend, has done something a little crazy, we've been distracted. You know that saying 'creatures of habit' - well it's like accidentally mixing up your habits and amalgamating them. But that doesn't make us crazy does it?

No, I, in my highly unprofessional opinion - seeing as I am in no way qualified to make decisions that should be adopted by others - think it's because of distractions and being tired. We are so busy that we take small things for granted. The things we do without even noticing, it's only when we do something a little bit different, or wrong, that we notice that we do them! Maaaan....does this even
make any sense?!

I'm going to take a break, maybe it'll help!

We all do crazy things that are a little weird, or sometimes very weird but we are human after all. Have you done anything crazy lately?

'it smells in here'

Often, one of the first things I'll notice about a person is their smell. I know, it's really odd but I don't go round sniffing people, honest I don't. I think the reason this is one of the first things I notice is because I myself am really conscious of the way I smell. It's one of my biggest concerns - I work in places that all have different smells. I'm faced with people in the office, people who've just come back from doing intensive exercise, people around food all day and even people who don't care at all about their smell. Fair enough, we are all different. 

Anyway, my actual reason for bringing this up isn't really related to smell at all. It was just, lets say - stimulated by smell. 

Let's continue. 

The other day I was minding my own business, doing my work when a man I know walked past me. As he did, there was this waft of smell that followed him, not entirely unpleasant because I know and recognise that smell. It's that smell of sweat, stale sweat, you know like when your jacket needs to be put in the wash but you sometimes just put spray over it, hoping it hides the smell? Only it only hides it for a while and after the smell of sweat is still there. I say here that it's not unpleasant because I have had to put up with way way way worse smells than this. Plus the smell passes, it doesn't linger for long and therefore it doesn't bother me much. 

However, what does bother me is my thought process on this occasion. Thoughts that ran through my head -


I'm ashamed of my first thought. There, I said it. After I spent ages thinking and wondering why I would ever think this, I mean come on, I'm a feminist who has issues with things like this, so then why was this the first thought that came to my head? Like why?! It does help that it was followed straight after by thought number two. I feel at ease a little now!

After a lot of thinking, I realised something. That first thought is one I'v heard before many times and each time I've heard it, I have, out loud, protested and expressed my opinion on this. My opinion being we should all be try to look after ourselves and not be reliant on others - we should try this! 

I found out where I heard it - that thought is something my grandmother has said to me many times. Admittedly I've heard it from many others too but now I know where it's from. That thought isn't me talking, it's what I've heard from others, what I've picked up from society. And this is something a very good friend explained to me the other day.

Here it is being explained by other people: 

― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Have you ever examined your second thoughts?