Friday, 10 August 2018

Trimester Four - The Deep End

So turns out trimester three is not the last hurdle ... there is actually something called trimester 4. Trimester 4 is the first three months after your baby is born. The same amount of time a baby is classed as a newborn! 

Baby B arrived exactly on the day the midwife told us she would. The due date. Her due date. Our little girl seemed to have no interest in coming out and waited patiently the whole time. Finally when she did arrive, it was surreal. I remember looking at her during the night and thinking 'she's mine, oh my!' She slept so quietly the first few days, waking up to feed and then slipping straight back into a deep sleep. That's how the first week has was, and for a very short while she stayed like that, eating and sleeping. 

Having a newborn is exhausting. The lack of sleep and time to oneself is draining and I had so many questions! Why could I not stop my baby when she cried? Why was she crying? Am I supposed to recognise her cry? Is she too hot? Too cold? Why won't she sleep? Why is she sleeping for so long? Is she hungry? Is this supposed to happen?! So many! Google can help but I wouldn't advise too much time on Google as you'll terminally diagnosing yourself or your baby. 

I also felt a sense of insecurity where I doubted myself and my abilities but then you look at your beautiful baby and those feelings of exhaustion and insecurity just disappear. 

Let me tell you something, it's hard. I doubted myself so many times and as Baby B got older, she developed colic. That meant she cried and cried and cried and because of this, I was too afraid to take her out. I'd think that what happens if she cries when we go out and I can't comfort her enough to calm down? But it did get better. I went to a few baby massage classes and the first few weren't good. Having to rock your baby in an effort to calm them down in front of a group of mums whose babies aren't screaming is hard. In fact, it almost shattered my confidence, but we carried on and eventually we had a full session with no crying! 

One thing I can tell you is that nobody has all the answers as each baby is different. There are guidelines but no one can tell you exactly why a baby is crying if you haven't figured it out yourself.  There are so many new things to learn. You'll learn new things about yourself too! 

Find a good support group - online or otherwise. I'm lucky that I have family close by and friends who keep in touch. 

It took me a while but I’ve finally decided to try my best and we’ll deal with anything that comes up as it does.

Have you had a baby? Are you expecting or know anyone who is? 

Update: It get's better! Baby B doesn't cry as much anymore and we have so much more confidence now. I've even been out and about on my own with Baby B and we've even started socialising! 

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