Three customer things that have happened to me at work this week (and quite regularly actually):

1.
Customer: ‘the coffee machine has broken!’
Me: ‘what coffee did you put in?’
Customer: ‘I don’t know, but I wanted coffee and chocolate, and now its screwed everything up. It’s a stupid machine and not done what I asked. The worst I’ve ever seen’
-----Right, so you DONT KNOW what you put in to it, and now because its asking you to put ‘pack two’ in, you think there’s something wrong? Seriously woman!? YOU put that sachet in, and on there, it said ‘one of two’, and it’s all the machines fault? It’s crazy that I’m defending a coffee machine, but that thing is a machine, it only does what you tell it to! So don’t take your anger out on me, or the machine for that matter.
My reply: ‘ok, not to worry, if you pick another one and put it in, it will still make the coffee’.

2.
When a customer comes towards the desk, but doesn’t actually come to it - stands close enough to see you instead, then puts their hand in the air/points to the ceiling, gesturing you to go to them.
-----Right, this is rude, well I think it is! That person should come to the desk, and ask nicely if I can give them a hand, not point at the ceiling from far away, and expect me to a disregard everything else and run/magically appear at their side. Come on, seriously, try and catch my eye ask or something, not order me with your finger! Honestly!
My response: smile and wait until the customer come to the desk!

3.
Me: And there’s a charge of 20pence on that card am afraid
Customer: *Gasp* 20p! What for, I’m sure it’s not late, I checked online yesterday, it was in date.
Me: It was due back yesterday. Online, you can renew your books, or even give us a ring.
Customer: Oh, I tried to renew them I think, but there was an error.
-----Right, so if you thought they were in date, why would you want to renew them? And if the reason they are late is because you couldn’t renew them, surely you’d have told me that first? Obviously haven’t thought that excuse through have you!!
My response: there is still 20pence to pay on that one am afraid. You can pay another time if you like, it wont increase, or you can pay it off today.
Customer: *cold stare*
Me: *big smile*

Of course, I'm a good girl, who always smiles and provides excellent customer services all the times! :)